The way I dreamed about it is not here. That went out the window a month ago. Lisa and I have had a tough couple of days following the appointment with the Oncologist. The world they live in has, in their mind, given our daughter 18 months or less to live. We wrestle with it everyday. From hour to hour we feel great about what God will do then terrible about what He may choose. These moments of significant life milestones seem to magnify the thought of life without her. This wasn't my plan. She is supposed to benefit from this business venture. She is supposed to not have to worry because I worked hard to make her life better. But, she is now fighting for her life. I don't get it. Really, I don't.
I am glad I can trust God. I don't know how I would deal with this if I didn't fully believe that He has her right in the palm of his hand. He loves her more than I do. I don't know how that is possible.
Tonight I am having trouble living for today. The future of Hunter Vision has for so long been a part of all my thought and now it is here. Its presence is pushing me to thoughts of the battle of and for our future. I go to bed tonight praying for Ava. I am also praying for me. I need strength and wisdom beyond anything I have. I need God to show up big.
I want hope. That's what I pray for tonight. For Ava and for our family. It was a heavy day. In every way.
May you be filled with a supernatural peace that surpasses all earthly understanding. I'm praying for you all along with so many others.
ReplyDelete~Kelli King Bock & Family~
I'm so sorry that it has been such a heavy day. I will be lifting you up in prayer along with Ava, Lisa and Noah, and asking God to bless you tonight with great rest, and for tomorrow to bring new hope, new joy, and a new peace.....and I continue to ask Him to perform a miracle for little Ava. God Bless you all.
ReplyDeleteOur family is praying for a supernatural healing as well as peace in knowing that God has Ava (and you) in His hands.
ReplyDeleteJosh, there's no way I can comprehend how you feel, but there are so many things that Jesus gives us to cope when we go through tragic times. Faith and grace are most important to some, but for me, I always cling to HOPE in Him, HOPE in life and for you, HOPE in your family.
ReplyDeleteI always for all of you daily, but tonight the Lord is telling me to pray a little more just for you!
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you rest in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13, NIV
Rest in our Lord's arms and peace tonight, Josh. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Love and Prayers always,
Cari
lamentations 2:22-24
ReplyDeleteBecause of the lords great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness, I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore i will wait for him."
Human words can be of little comfort when you are crying out for the life of Ava - may god's word bring you a measure of relief. Always praying, always hoping, always believing in a miracle...
Philippians 4:6-7
ReplyDeleteDo not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Josh please know that I am going to bed tonight praying for you, Lisa, Noah and Ava. I am praying that God lovingly holds each of you in the palm of his hand and gives you the blessed assurance that He has you, He hears your words, He hears your heart.
ReplyDeleteOur God still performs miracles, and I BELIEVE that Ava will be living proof of that to the thousands of people who have come along side of you and your family to join you on this journey! You are in my prayers.
I love you
ReplyDeleteIn Jesus' name. AMEN!
ReplyDeleteGod's plans do not always coincide with our plans. They're better, because He has a bigger picture and knows our future.
ReplyDeleteSo, I encourage you, to let go and not dwell on your plans for the future right now. Trust and rely on His plans for you, Lisa, Ava and Noah day by day. One day at a time.
Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow brings enough worries on it's own.
I am so happy for your whole family that Hunter Vision will open its doors in the next 20 minutes - that has to be such an awesome feeling! I pray that its success gives you the financial security you need to get Ava well.
ReplyDeleteStatistics are just that and we all know that these doctors don't know God's plans for Ava. Sure, they are grim but we serve a mighty God who can and does perform miracles. I will always pray that His plan is to heal Ava this side of Heaven so that you may watch her grow into a beautiful woman and she will be able to share her testimony.
Always praying...always believing...
Hey Josh,
ReplyDeleteAlways praying for Ava, You, Lisa, and Noah. Prayed this verse over you. Believing everyday for a Mihgty Miracle of Healing in Ava!!! We love you guys.
Feltman Clan
Psalm 62:5-8 (New International Version)
5 Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7 My salvation and my honor depend on God [a] ;
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8 Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
I'm at a total loss as to what to say to you...my heart is breaking for all of you and I can't understand any of this. WHY? God can, and I am choosing to believe that He will heal Ava. That's it. That's all. He will hear my voice continually praying for Ava's complete healing and a long, long, life on earth. God, we need her. We need her as one more testament to your grace, mercy, power, and love. Let it be so. Patti H.
ReplyDeleteJosh you are so open about your feelings.It just breaks my heart that you and Lisa have to go thru this at such a tender age.
ReplyDeleteWe all wrap you in our love.
Hebrews 11 is about the cloud of witness that surroud you That is whree our HOPE comes from.
Our GOD will not leave you without hope.He is GOD of MIRACLEs here you have her walking, a few years ago her diagnosis and surgery would have been impossible.
every time I think of you I pray.Keep strong my friend.Grace.
I don’t know you or your family, but I’ve been praying for all of you since I first learned of Ava’s illness. As someone who has lived through the devastating illness of a loved one, I have come to understand that God is blessing us even in our darkest hours. His plans for us are good and wonderful even when we don’t understand them. I’ve been following your blog and I encourage you to keep doing what you’ve been doing. You and Lisa and Noah and Ava are going to be better than ok, because God is watching over you moment by moment.
ReplyDeleteI pray special blessings for Hunter Vision and for you and Lisa today. It will be such a good day that you will be refreshed and hopeful! Little Ava is in God's care even more than the doctors'care! Hang in there with the Holy Spirit and just know that He cares for all of you more than you are capable of understanding! We are praying for a miracle so accept it and rest your soul in God! You will have days when you feel this way but don't let them get the better of you. God wins in the end and He is for you!
ReplyDeleteDear Josh:
ReplyDelete"1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (NIV)."
You, Lisa, Noah, and Ava are SO LOVED...Hang in there! And I pray that each one of you may feel God carrying you in HIS arms! Lots of love, Sylvia.
He tends His flock like a shepherd:
ReplyDeleteHe gathers the lambs in His arms
and carries them close to His heart;
He gently leads those who have young.
Isaiah 40:11
We are praying,
Ingle and Suzy Crabtree
Josh- "Hope comes not from strength, intelligence, or favorable circumstances, but from the Lord. As Maker of heaven & earth, He alone has the right to promise hope & the power to keep the promise."(quote from "Our Daily Bread")... "For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth, from birth I have relied on you..." Psalm 71:5. That hope is still there, but some days are going to be tougher than others. It will return because,"Hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us." Rom.5:5 That's a promise from God. I've been praying throughout the day for Ava & all of you, as well as Hunter Vision. May God bless you with peace & a restful night.
ReplyDeleteJosh & Lisa-
ReplyDeleteI don't know what to say except that hanging on to God is THE ONLY WAY. Crawl into His loving arms and let Him comfort you when you start each day and when you end it as well. He will give you the strength, one day @ a time, to bear this burden that has been placed upon you, Lisa and Noah.
Praying you all and loving you as fellow Christians every day-
Jody Brinks
My heart is breaking for you.
ReplyDeleteCarol and I pray for you and the family a lot, Josh. We just lost my Dad a couple of weeks ago, had one new granddaughter born last week, and have another granddaughter on deck for next week. Our emotions are all over the map.
We almost lost my son Dave to a car accident when he was seventeen, and that was harrowing enough for one lifetime. When I think about my Dad I feel like a failure somehow, but when I consider the babies it makes me want to dig in and see the next step God has in store.
That's not much consolation, but it feels real. You, Lisa and Ava are living in our broken hearts.
"The strength of your belief will make it so."
ReplyDelete"As you believe in your heart, so shall it be done unto you."
"Faith is expectancy. You do not receive what you want; you do not receive what you pray for, not even what you say you have faith in. You will always receive what you actually EXPECT."
EXPECT the best - Stay strong and believe. We are all with you, your entire family, and most of all, with your beautiful daughter.
Hey Josh, Could you email (thelackeyfam@yahoo.com) me so I have your email address. I have an email from a friend of a friend whose daughter had a similar type of cancer and they thought they had some helpful info. I would like to forward it to you.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my daily prayers.
-Janelle Lackey
God blesses those who help others. Pray for all the people living in poverty and who are ill. God bless your family.
ReplyDelete