Couldn't get it out of my head all day. I worried all day today. It was not a good day for "do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring enough trouble of it's own." I spent all day battling thoughts of tomorrow. Not literal tomorrow, but figurative tomorrow. I know I tell everyone how much we are trying to live each day as its own. Most days I can, but I pretty much failed today. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to get back on the horse.
I know God is here. I know He loves Ava. I know He loves me. I just spent a lot of today wondering, "What the heck?"
Luckily, Ava is feeling as good as ever...so that part is wonderful. Pray for Ava's healing and pray that I will lead our family well through this time. Some days require more will than others.
We'll keep fighting through...
I hate so much that you have to go through this. I will continue praying for complete healing and also leadership for you. Praying for His arms to be wrapped tightly around you all right now and for today to be a better mental day.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being so candid with us, Josh. It is precious to me, and it is definitely precious to God. Some days will be harder, and there are times when you'll feel very lonesome. It isn't natural, but it's life. May God grant you the courage, and strength, and steadfastness. Amen
ReplyDeletePaul L.
Josh...sorry that you had such a tough day...I know as a Mom even though I know that God is in control and that He loves me and loves my kids even more than I do...I still worry at times. I don't want to, but I realize that I am human and there's always a part of us that wants to say "why?"
ReplyDeletepraying for you and Lisa to feel His comfort and it is good to know that Ava is feeling good. Praying daily for a miracle.
You will have these days periodically. It's normal. It will pass as you see more healing take place. Believe it or not, I still have those, "What the Heck" moments. Will be praying for mental peace for you and Lisa. God is Good! He will lead you on the right path as long as your eyes, ears, mind and heart stay open. So far you and Lisa are doing an amazing job with all of this!
ReplyDeleteOh Josh I am so sorry you had a bad day! I know you want to do and say the right things. But sometime honey you just have to be human and get mad. You want to love & protect your baby, and you just want to know why now why AVA? We don't get to pick and choose, All we can do is pray for each and everyone of you and hope that God can use this for a better good. We are praying for a miracle for precious Ava and I know God will be glorified in this process of special treatment.
ReplyDeleteI am on bended knees for all of you to be given strength, compassion
Hope that surpasses all understanding Love you all!! Darden
Even Jesus felt abandoned by God as He hung on the cross in his darkest hour, and asked God " why have You forsaken me?" And He was Jesus. I think you are a well of hope and faith in this wretched situation. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability.. I don;t even know you or Ava and I cry every day for the anguish of her diagnosis. Everyone is praying like crazy for a miracle for Ava and strength for You and Lisa. May our prayers carry you through this dark hour.
ReplyDeleteI say BE STILL AND KNOW HE IS GOD! I try to remind myself that everyday....Blessings to you and your family..you are ALWAYS on my family's mind and heart.....
ReplyDeleteGod knew exactly what He was doing when He brought you and Lisa together. .. and for such a time as this .. there's no better man. I'm so proud of you. I love you, Josh.
ReplyDeletePraying for strength for you all. But know that God knows you will have these moments, these days, He will hold you up when you cannot. He will give you hope. The Johnson's
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you are having a bad day. I was healed by a brain tumor by God because I had such stronge faith that God would heal me and I said the bible healing scriptures that Dodie Olsteen said , who was cured of terminial liver cancer. Never give up hope and trust in the Lord, he loves everyone. I will pray for your family. I would also research Ambrotose by Mannatech for Ava. God bless Your Family.
ReplyDeleteHaving experienced great pain and anguish from my husband's Leukemia several years ago, I do know EXACTLY the type of day you described of yesterday. It is KEY to remember those days will be full of worry, fear and uncertainty...that is o.k. and consider allowing yourself to feel those emotions...those are the empty moments that you can visualize a cozy chair in front of a warm fire and you crawling up on our Lord's lap for the peace and comfort you need. The tough day will pass and he will engulf you to endure once again...take deep breaths and put one foot in front of the other...you all are loved.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you Josh! I wish I could say it will get better but, even though you are going threw this, had you not been or it been something else we ALL have those days! No matter what life throws at us we are HUMAN! God knows that! I admire your candid honesty! Honestly I think you are doing an AWSOME job as a christian,husband and father! You are a great example for many people! We will continue to pray for you especially when you have these kinda days...........
ReplyDeleteJosh-
ReplyDeleteIt's terrible that you're going through this and as the 'head of the household' you feel like you always have to be strong. I think God understands your frustrations, questions, and anger. We're human...........don't be so hard on yourself. Lean on Lisa, lean on each other. And yes, lean on The Lord God Almighty, but let yourself be human too.
Still praying.................seeing the enemy in Ava's head disappear with never a trace again. God is good.
Jody Brinks
Thank you so much Josh for allowing us into your life and keeping us posted on how ALL of you are doing..
ReplyDeleteLet Days like today happen.. it will give you more strength for the GREAT day that is coming tomorrow
Your Miracle is right around the corner.. Stand as tight and tall as you have been doing !!!!!!!
In God's love,
Garen Ripley
Josh,
ReplyDeleteI am copying and pasting this article below as it is pretty good info. I mentioned it to your mom this am when she asked me if we also did healthy foods for Evie. Sounds like you are on the right track with all of that. I would love some tips on getting down the kale! I juice a lot to- beets, carrots, spinach etc. If Evie will drink it I do give her a little treat just b/c I know beet juice is not the best and she wants nothing to do with it. I saw that someone else posted a comment mentioning Abrotose by Mannatech. I have Evie on it as well. I had our Dr's look at it and they said it couldn't hurt, but didn't know if it could help. Many people in the nutrition field touted it being a great choice to keep cancer away. I felt I had to try, so far so good. I bought it on ebay so as to not join the multi level mktg company. My final question to you is did Dr. G talk to Dr. Smith at Shand's re. Ava's case? Her opinion would be one I would seek. She was the only Ped Neurologist Oncologist in FL for some time. She is a Christian and just a brilliant woman. She surrounds herself by other brilliant Dr's from other research institutes as well. I just had to mention it. You are in our prayers as always. Here is the John Hopkins article. I found the milk part to be especially interesting. I am in the process of switching over to Almond milk as I am not at peace with the controversy of soy. Hope this is something useful. jwtanner1@aol.com
AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY ('TRY', BEING THE KEY WORD) TO ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHNS HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .
Cancer Update from Johns Hopkins :
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3 When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system..
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8.. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply..
*CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
to be continued next comment!
Josh,
ReplyDeleteIt is ok to be down.I pray today is a better day for you.I'm happy Ava is recovering from her surgery and getting stronger.The Lord will chose the right path for you to take to destroy this beast.Stay Strong Keep The Faith.
Judy Ziegler
Pineridge Fellowship
Deltona,FL
a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses, but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in color. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.
ReplyDeleteb. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soy milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer fighting properties. Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines becomes putrefied and leads to more to toxic buildup.
ReplyDelete13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the bodies own killer cells to destroy cancer cells.. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un-forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer..
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well... Dioxin chemicals cause cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers.
This especially applies to foods that contain fat. He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as Corning Ware, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else.
Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel.
Your raw emotion is powerful and heartbreaking at the same time. I pray for your strength as the provider for/leader of your family.
ReplyDeleteSeeing your mom and dad at church this morning was inspirational. You have quite an amazing family to support you and hold you up during this unfair time.
Thank you for writing from your heart. It is moving!
Always praying...always believing...