As in, I can't sit. As in, I can't believe it. As in, I love her. As in, I want to hold her.
I have spent the better part of two days with a physical pain response from an emotional loss. I go from laughing to crying from minute to minute and hour to hour. I went from caring so deeply for Ava's well being to only being able to see how badly I hurt without her in a matter of seconds this last weekend.
It's weird. I always looked at those who were grieving by looking at pictures and videos and holding things from their loved ones as people who may do better to try to move past the pain instead of relish it. No longer. I get it now. Everything in me wants to see one more video, one more photo, one more thing she wore or wrote. I don't care about the pain and tears as much as I do etching every single memory that I have with her into my brain for good. I spend the better part of each hour trying to parse through the details of conversations we had, jokes she told, and rituals that I had only with her. I don't ever want those to leave me. I want to remember them all, all the time.
Lisa, Noah and I are walking together through these days with the newness of this life without Ava just under the surface at all times. Every normal thing is not normal because she is not with us. It will take a long, long time to unwind from the daily routine that defined our family. I'm not even sure I want to. I want everything to be the way it was...still.
As in, I trust God.
We are heartbroken, my friend. Just heartbroken. Whatever we can do, we will. But know how sorry we truly are.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being brave enough to bare your heart and soul to us throughout all of this. I admired you a lot before. There are no words now.
My heart hurts so deeply for your loss and pain, Josh. I am praying constantly for you. Lisa and Noah. I am truly so sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh, Josh, I can't even begin to imagine the emotions and physical pain that you are experiencing. All I can do is let you know I'm praying and will continue praying for comfort and peace for all of you. God has surely received a beautiful angel in sweet Ava. I know you will never forget one moment of the wonderful 5 years you had with her!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePsalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
I have so many tears for your sweet family. No words can make this better for you guys, but I need to tell you how much of a blessing sweet Ava has been to so many. Her life was short, but God used her in a mighty way. I never met her, yet she stole my heart. As a new mother, my heart aches for your entire family, but especially for you and your lovely wife. I pray for comfort for you both, and for sweet Noah. If you need anything, please let us know. We all want to help.
ReplyDeleteGod bless the Hunter family. You are so very loved.
We continue to pray for your beautiful Ava and for you and your family. Only God knows His perfect plans for her. I have never met her, but I feel I instantly knew her when Joel spoke of her perhaps two years ago. His love brought us to tears. And I will never forget the picture of her in her Easter outfit holding your hand and looking into your eyes. She knew she was dearly loved by God and her family. A dear friend and I were sharing our sadness about Ava's passing and she spoke these comforting words:
ReplyDelete"The size of your pain and grief never becomes smaller,you just get bigger around it. I think that is becuase we should never diminish the value of the person we lost, who they were, what their life meant, what they contibuted, never forget them. I try to remember that when we experience a loss. I hope and pray that in time, Ava's family and friends will be able to grow bigger around that loss." With love and prayers,
Nick and Pat Francoforte
Josh, we are so grateful for your blogs. I have been told that writing things down makes it better. Maybe you can go just one step further if you haven't already. Keep a journal; an "Ava Journal" Write down everything and anything that you can about her...things she said and did...maybe the funny way she said the names of things. Even the jokes she told (and even better, the ones she made up) God bless you, Lisa, and Noah. My HE wrap you in His arms and keep you reminded that that's where Ava is!
ReplyDeleteJosh
ReplyDeleteTo say I have an idea of what your feeling would be a lie. I wish words we (me and all those people you have touched in some way) could make things better. I know this is also impossible. Thankfully you know God will heal your wound, it might not seem that way at times, it might also seem like it never fully heals, but it will heal to the point God wants it to. But then you know this.
About all I can offer is another shoulder to cry on, an arm to punch, an ear to yell into. These I can gladly do for you.
You taught and gave me more than you can imagine. I wouldn't be married today without your influence in my life, and without that I wouldn't have my son. So as a Dad, I am forever grateful and glad to have you play an important part of my life. Please feel free to let me and others, who's life you've touched in so many significant ways, ways in which at the time may not have seemed that significant, know what we can do for you and your family.
I love you more than a friend for all you've given me. Thank you and may God's grace continue to help heal you.
Jim Capobianco
You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers, Josh...you and Lisa and Noah and the rest of the family. I read some of the comments and I have some great pictures of you in my mind although I have never met you...the pic of you and Ava going to the Daddy/Daughter Dance, Ava with her Supergirl outfit, Ava with your Mom and Dad. You have so many wonderful pictures and videos that she will always be close to your heart and mind. Know that you are not alone...............:)+
ReplyDeleteHoping you will feel the many hugs and prayers still coming your way.
ReplyDeleteJosh,
ReplyDeleteMy heart has been breaking for you and your family from day 1 of all this but especially now. You are a wonderful example of faith and you, Lisa and Noah will continue to be in our prayers everyday. I thank God that you have such a wonderful family to hold you during this tragedy.
Josh, Lisa & Noah, Words do not come. All the cliche's are there but they mean nothing at a time like this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am a member of Northland, if you need anything, just let me know. You have my permission to get my personal information from the church office. Mrs Rae Ann (Mark) Kressin
ReplyDeleteBrings big tears to my eyes. I'm at a loss for words. I think about you guys all day long. My heart aches at what you are going through. May the Lord help you find comfort as time moves on. God Bless you all.
ReplyDeleteFeeling the pain, a million times removed from the situation, and I sit constantly in prayer.. hoping the pain for your family eases day by day, knowing it probably won't for a long time. Relish in your memories. She must have been one amazing little girl, because I feel the hurt and grief all the way in California, never having met your family once.
ReplyDeleteYou are so inspirational. And yet, I know you don't want to be in this position. However, this is where God has put you and you are being so obedient. So many can learn so much from your family. I am so grateful that our paths have crossed. It's an understatement to say that I wish that they had crossed under different circumstances.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are focused on peace for those left behind...for now. Ava's life and victory over death are to be celebrated and the knowledge that you will all be together for eternity because you fulfilled your roles as her parents hopefully brings you the peace you need.
Always praying...always believing...
Having walked your walk Josh and Lisa, I do know your pain and I am so glad what you wrote, using the word 'relish'...When you walk that most painful walk, one does not 'relish' do they, it's a pain that takes a long time,it uses every emotion God gave us,and it's a slow, painful journey through this deep,dark valley until one comes out on the other side- What we 'relish' is all the memories don't we- They will never leave you nor would you want them to-Every day, even every hour is a new emotion from crying to smiling of memories. Journal all of those wonderful stories, jokes, funny things you did together so you can look back and one day, you will smile, even through the tears, that for me, have never dried up.
ReplyDeleteWe grieve with you as there is no greater pain than what you have gone through. Be gentle with yourself and let things happen as they do.
Continuing to hold you all up in prayer..Betsey Gould
The great love of a father, mother, brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, family, friends and those who just prayed. Your sweet little one knew love in great ways from you and little ways from those she never met. And now you face a great pain and loss. May you feel and know that others continue to carry you as you pass through this dark valley and rejoice with you as your Ava is in the arms of a Father who loves her so and shares your family's loss.
ReplyDeleteDear Josh,
ReplyDeleteI have followed Ava's story from the beginning and prayed that there would be a miracle this side of heaven, but God needed to have his little girl back home. I will be the first to admit I don't understand it, it wasn't the answer I had prayed for, but I know His ways are higher than ours and so I walk by faith.
Ava touched the lives of many...you have touched the lives of many through your honesty on this blog. You were faced with circumstances that none of us would want and you and Lisa and Noah too have walked them holding onto hope and lavishing love on Ava.
She knew that she was loved...you can tell by her beautiful smile and I believe that she is smiling down on you now...hold onto every memory...write them in a journal...and always I pray that God who sees your heart and tears will continue to lift you all up.
Your parents have raised a fine son and I know that their hearts are torn as well, but they also must be so proud of their oldest son.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the entire our family. I hope and pray that someday a cure will be found so that no one has to suffer from cancer. SEPTEMBER is NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS month I hope everyone will proudly wear a gold ribbon in honor of Ava and all the other children fighting cancer including my own daughter. Thank you for giving me more strength and faith. God Bless the Hunter family....Sheri Balent beboldweargold@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteJosh,
ReplyDeleteOur hearts are breaking with yours. Knowing, yet unable to comprehend the pain you and your family must be going through. Unless you have lost a child yourself, it is impossible to image the grief you are experiencing. As a parent, I can only imagine. Please know that hundreds, if not thousands of people are praying for you and your family. You will never know the number of people you and your precious Ava have impacted in such a positive way. If only you could feel the hugs of those from far away that are reaching out to you and your precious family.
Josh, we do not know each other, but your family has been in my prayers over the past few weeks. I am so so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI've heard it said that we do not know how far the ripples of our actions will go. I wanted to let you know that the ripples of your courage and faith in god while coping with this have reached a complete stranger; a stranger who's lacked any and all faith for most his life until recently. Thank you for being a bright shining example of leaning in to god when it matters most and for having the bravery to share this pivotal moment in your life.
I will continue to pray for you and your family. If there is anything, absolutely anything, you guys need beyond that then don't hesitate to look me up.
Brian Young
I have no words of wisdom to offer or the right words to say. I do want to encourage you to go ahead and allow yourself to feel all you feel with freedom. I am sure the days ahead will hold every gamut of emotion. The memories you have are beautiful gifts to hold in your heart. Some of the emotions you feel in the days to come may not be pretty, but that's ok and a normal part of greiving. Do what you need to get through this.
ReplyDeleteNone of us can even begin to comprehend. Without even knowing her I can tell that Ava was a very very special little girl and her story has inspired all of us to love a little deeper. I would expect no less than for you to hold all of those very special memories and moments forever in your heart. Draw closer to Noah and Lisa in all of this. Allow others to serve you during this time. My family will be continuing to pray as fervently as we were praying before.
Sue Schutz
I am so sorry to hear that you have been separated from your little angel Ava. Her memory is so full of life and love - anyone can hear it in your writings. Take the time to remember everything wonderful about her, write it down, save them all, even seal away a few things that smell of her for the future. Time will help to ease the pain a little but never fully until you are reunited again. We are praying for you, Lisa and Noah - that God will comfort you...
ReplyDeletejosh we cant even begin to think how you are all feeling with the loss of your beautifull daughter Ava my heart has been broken just goin through this with you all ty we fell so close to your family and Ava even though we have niver met she has brought so many ppl togeather in her short life here shes the most beautifull angel looking down from heaven
ReplyDeletemy thoughts and prayers are with you all i pray the lord will put his arms around you all and bring you all comfort x
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDeleteYou are loved, by God, by your church family, and by us.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you and your family, and having a child of my own, I know you are living through something unimaginable. Having lost close family as well, I know that our hearts break only for ourselves, since we with faith know that our loved ones are now perfect and whole. I don't know your family personally, but will continue praying hard for you all to find peace, acceptance, and an abundance of amazing memories to carry with you.
ReplyDeleteI have spent much of my day crying with you and for you. You will not forget, memories are a gift. There is no right way to grieve just do what you need to. If you want to cry...cry, if you want to sleep in her room for the next two years, it is ok. She feels far but she is not far. You are not alone..for now just live every 5 minutes as you can. Not day by day just 5 minutes by 5 minutes. We are with you, their is a support net around your family greater than I think you might fathom at this moment. You, Lisa and Noah may feel like you are alone in the bottom of a well of grief and despair, but we are with you. Remember 5 minutes at a time!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your candid comments. When you are ready (next month or next year, or sometime in-between) Grief share will be a group of people who understand from a first hand perspective for your immediate family and for your extended family. You are all in our prayers and you have my sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. - Mother Teresa
ReplyDeleteFOR THOSE FROM AROUND THE COUNTRY AND THE WORLD WHO LOVE AVA,JOSH,LISA,NOAH AND THEIR FAMILIES, PLEASE JOIN US IN PRAYER THIS THURSDAY AT 11 A.M.
ReplyDeleteFrom Northland's web site:
Ava Hunter’s memorial service will be this Thursday, September 9, at 11 a.m. in the Northland at Longwood sanctuary (530 Dog Track Road, Longwood, FL 32750). Pastor Isaac Hunter of Summit Church will be officiating.
The service will be broadcast online, as well. Access it at northlandchurch.net or via Summit Church’s web site at summitconnect.org.
In lieu of flowers, Ava’s parents have asked that donations be made to the Ava Hunter Fund: Citizens Bank of Florida, Attn: Jolene Burns, P.O. Box 620729, Oviedo, FL 32765-0729.
Oh Dear Josh - may you know that if your grief could be divided we would gladly take it all from you. I can promise you, having lost my mother when i was a teenager 30 years ago, that the sweet memories do not fade. I used to be scared i would forget her face, her voice, her love, the funny things she did but i never have. For so very long i held on to her things and they were so very comforting. I dug through photos, blinded by tears clinging to something that could fill the void and amazingly, in time, i could remember everything about her without tears and unbearable pain.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why God had to use Ava and your family to teach us about love, compassion, pain, prayer, faithfulness...I don't know and I am sorry that you are in such agony. But I am so glad you have proved worthy of the trust Jesus put in you. As sure as the sun rises and sets, one day, when you stand face to face with Jesus you will hear the words from the mouth of the King of Kings "well done my good and faithful servant" Holding you firmly and faithfully in prayer.
God Bless you and your Family,
ReplyDeleteMy love and prayers are with you. I pray all the time. I only slept 3 hours last night because I feel and the need to continually lift you all up. May I suggest you get a journal and write down all the things and rituals. It can be your rememberance book. the days, weeks and months ahead are going to be very hard. I will always be praying for you.Sharon Webb
Josh
ReplyDeleteI belong to GCC, and have been praying for Ava, and your family. I am so sorry for the pain you are all experiencing right now. I lost my only son Jason Dec 8, 2007, and there are no words to describe the anguish of losing your child. The memories of Ava will comfort you, and your Jesus will hold you tight in His loving arms. Take time to grieve, it is a very necessary process. Let your family, and friends help you get through this time, and know that one day you will be with Ava again.
God bless you all.
Maribeth
I ache for you all so much!!!! I wish I could take away the pain and all the bad feelings. I can;t, but I am praying almost constantly for you three and the whole clan!! They say it takes time, but I still (after 13 years) almost call my dad on the phone. Losing a child must be the WORST thing there is!!!! I am so very sorry for your precious loss!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteJosh, Lisa & Noah-
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how much I hurt for you and wish so much you were not in such pain. I think of the 3 of you a lot during the day, praying for you.
Crawl into God's arms. It's so powerful and can give you such peace. He is the only one who can help you through this. One day, one minute @ a time. Hold on.
Nathan Greene is an artist that does different pictures of Jesus. There is one of children in Heaven with Him. At some time maybe you'd like to check out his website. Maybe it will bring some comfort.
God Bless you all-
Jody
It seems as if God is writing a love letter to us through you. How beautiful and tragic and redemptive. It feels like truth at its core.
ReplyDeletePrayers will continue...
Susan Branch
I am sorry for you loss. Ava was such a sweet girl during her earthly life and is continuing it in heaven. I am praying for you guys!
ReplyDeletejust another voice to say we are so sorry. never met any of you but love you just the same. one foot in front of the other...moment by moment, i am sure just breathing may seem impossible at times. praying for you all without ceasing, knowing that He who holds Ava, holds you all too!
ReplyDeleteYour words cut me like a knife. They have made me me stop in my tracks and do things differently. I think of you, Lisa and Noah all the time. In fact, I can't get you off my mind. I feel sick thinking of how much pain you are in. I'm sorry....so sorry. I hope you found some comfort in your uncle's article. Dancing with Ava in heaven...what a beautiful thought. I hope I'm there to see it!
ReplyDeleteIt is the morning, when the mind still dreams of how it was, and slowly reality sets in again, that the pain seethes. I am praying that at that moment God will fill you with His Grace anew.
ReplyDeleteLamentations 3:17-24
I have been deprived of peace; I have forgotten what prosperity is. So I say, "My splendor is gone and all that I had hoped from the LORD." I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Psalm 126:5-6
Those who sow in tears shall reap with joyful shouting. He, who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him.
May God lift you and your family up and wrap His loving arms around you in this terrible time of grief. I can't imagine the pain that you are in at this time as you mourn the loss of your precious daughter. I am so grateful that Ava is at peace and walking with Jesus while looking down and smiling at you. Cherish every memory you have. God Bless you and your family.
ReplyDeleteJosh, Lisa, Noah.....
ReplyDeleteJust as there was "the face that launched a thousand ships", so too, there was a Blog & a Facebook page that commanded Heaven's armies. He places his spirit in his children and he transforms them to be led by the spirit instead of the flesh. When he, the good shepard calls, they will hear him and they will follow. IT was absolutely astounding, as I stood back in awe, and watched these verses in scripture play out right before my eyes over the past 2 months....I stand in amazement at the "power" of God's love....its presence in such a huge way. Its so much bigger than I imagined, and this is just the tip of the iceberg! I saw the bible come alive like never before. Just as scripture says, he is the head and the church is his body, I saw a "being" surrounding you and your family for the past 2 months. I cannot get the image out of my mind, GOD was everywhere, in abundance, present, hovering like a cloud.
Jesus use to tell people "don't go and tell them about the miracle of healing" for it was the spirit of a man that he was after, it was the spirit that he pursues to heal, to revive, to cure......I have visited your websites (and FB) and read endless postings by people who's salvation has been intimately and deeply touched by this experience. I've seen God's spirit resident in so many people, his love seemed endless; pure, perfect and the love that was extended to you and your family also touched each of the readers as well....You couldn't help but notice a supernatural, amazing "thing" going on...and I believe it captured the eyes of many doubters, or those struggling in some area of unbelief, or those that may have only had a head but not a heart notion of God....I believe this magnificant presence of the Lord has imprinted many hearts. I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but It seems so "like God", the sacrifice of one precious lamb for the saving of hundreds. If there be any comfort in knowing that many souls may have indeed been given life through this experience I hope it helps a little.....
I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF SWEET LITTLE AVA..I AM FEELING YOUR PAIN & CRYING FOR ALL OF YOU..LET GOD WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND YOU & COMFORT YOU DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME...THANK YOU FOR TELEVISING ON THE WEB HER FUNERAL...I WILL NOT MISS IT...TO SAY GOODBYE TO PRECIOUS SWEET LITTLE ANGEL AVA..THANK YOU FOR BLOGGING DURING THIS DIFFICULT TIME...YOU ARE TO BE ADMIRED FOR DOING SO..YOU'RE IN MY THOUGHTS & PRAYERS...LOVE YOU ALL HUNTERS...
ReplyDeleteJosh, my off again, on again, off again, on again weeping and crying out to God is nothing compared to what you, Lisa and Noah face. While I know Ava is with Jesus just as happy as a clam and telling Him "butt jokes" and "jokes about nothing" and He is belly laughing, the lack of her presence here on earth is unbearable. You will never be the same, nor will we who love you guys and knew and experienced Ava. The day she called me a "drama queen" is still so fresh in my mind. I laughed out loud at her moxie and her quick wit. I had come into her classroom (Susie and I are great friends) and I would visit from time to time. I always joked with the kids and one day I said to Ava, "Ava, did you know that I am the queen around here?" She looks at me (as if to say, "Gimme a break."), rolls her eyes and blurts out, "Yeah. Drama queen." I almost peed my pants. Every encounter I had with her (too few) I came away cracking up and realizing what a delightful, funny, honest, and high spirited kid she was. You couldn't fool Ava. Love that kid! And love you all.
ReplyDeleteJosh, Lisa and Noah... I can't for one second imagine your days without your Little Princess. I only encourage you to do what you are doing, John Tordonia at Northland is the best grief counseler on the planet. The Lord really annointed him with great wisdom. My heart truley cries out in your pain I wish there was something more I could do for you All butI know it all just takes time and I pray wholeheartly that Our Lord gives you all the peace only HE can give.I know this is a long time down the road but I was speaking with a dear friend about the loss of her 5yr. old grandaughter she lost her life to brain cancer as well and there pastor told them that today their childs first day in heavean should be marked as her birthday in heaven and in a year they should celebrate her first birthday so on and so forth. I'm sorry I am sharing this with you at such a time like this but wanted you to know and didn't know how else to share this or when would have been the apropriate time. I hope you find this helpful. God Bless you all you and the rest of the Hunter family, you all are admiable, and gracious to share this with all of us and I believe that you have touched many lives. Blessings and Gods peace be with you all. The Miller's
ReplyDeleteDear Josh,
ReplyDeleteThe bible says that "Jesus Wept". God gave him the tears and he gives them to you also. Please know that there are a million more tears crying with you, Lisa, Noah and your entire family. May the Good Lord keep you in his arms and dry your tears with his magnificent cloak. I pray for much needed restful sleep for all of you tonight. Love in
christ.
My heart, my self, I so weep for you as I truly understand your despair as to where you are now and shall be as you journey through this happening in your life. My tears flow for your loss. I am so sorry and so sad for your loss. I know Ava is with Jesus and how blessed you and all of us are to have had her in our lives. I only have known her through your folks and your absolutely endearing, sweet thoughts and words you have expressed. Thank you for sharing. I know the well gets dry and then fills up and we shed tears and then it is dry again only to fill up so we cry again. Know you and Lisa and Noah are so loved and your parents and brothers and families are constantly in my prayers and thoughts and may our Lord Jesus just keep you in his arms and give you rest, peace, and comfort and whatever your need may be may He supply. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteJosh, I'm so sorry for your family's heartbreak. We have prayed and cried along with you all. Although we don't understand it, you are right that God is bigger than we are. Thank you for allowing us to pray with your family and sharing precious Ava's life with us. Your blogs are a gift and a witness to your faith in Jesus. There is a little 5 second video on Facebook under the Ava group where she says "you know what friend, I'm out of here!". That video brings a smile through my tears every time I watch it. What an amazing little angel. We will continue praying for your family. We love you all and are blessed to know your family. May you feel God's love and strength more every day. Thank you.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.northlandchurch.net/media/job/
ReplyDeleteI was listening to this song and wanted to share with you and yours.
How blessed you are to have had her for those 5 yrs, she brought you joy,laughter,smiles and those baby blues, gifts from God may only last a short time on earth but forever in Heaven, you were the best parents and Noah was a neat brother who watch after her so, be still an know that she is with you always as Christ is in you
ReplyDeleteOh how God is using you and Ava. You honor him with your words and actions. Your soul has been refined in him and gleams as gold.
ReplyDeleteGod's peace be with you, Lisa, Noah and your family.
My prayers and love to all of you!!
Josh, it probably does not mean so much right now to know how your willingness to share your heart and your feelings has ministered to so many people. I did not know Ava, or you, or Lisa, or Noah....but I feel a part of your journey...and that is due to prayer on behalf of your precious family. I do know Joel (c/o 98), and Becky and "Hunter Hunter" so...thus is my connection to your journey. God taught me through a time flat on my back, that at times you have to just 'BE STILL.....and KNOW"......He Is God and His way is perfect. We do not understand. We may never understand. It becomes exhausting to even try to understand. But...we trust. Even in your tremendous loss....you have it together, my friend.......you are centered, and on purpose for Christ.....and you have a remarkable way of sharing it with others. Let Christ continue to carry you now, and take the time you all need to mourn the life of this precious child. (Judi/TMA)
ReplyDeleteJosh, Lisa and Noah,
ReplyDeleteOur family is truly so heartbroken for each of you and the loss of Ava. We can not fathom your hurt and pain however we have been and will continue to cry out to Our Heavenly Father on your behalf. Last night while reading Steven Curtis Chapman's book "Speachless" I read one of his songs and have prayed it all day for your family...
Here is his song With Hope (he wrote it for his grieving friends)
With Hope
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with memories of your smile
and nothing we can say
and nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but -
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
(There's a place by GOD's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I guestioned more
The wisdom of GOD's plan
But through the clouds of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
WHere you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
"Cause now you're home
And now you're free and -
We have this hope as an anchor
"Cause we believe that everything
GOD promised us it true, so -
We wait with hope
and we ache with hope
We hope with hope
We let go with hope
Thank you that you would share your daughter's life to impact others, even in the midst of so much pain. We are praying for you now and each day that passes and trust that GOD will carry you through.
The Patrick's
My friends and I are praying for you and your whole family as you walk through this grief. May the God of all comfort give you the strength you need to face each day!
ReplyDeleteThank you for being YOU! My prayers are with you and your family. I am a Father who has a young daughter so I can't imagine your pain BUT please know God is teaching me how to love HIM, Others, and my daughter very deeply through the example you lead in this very challenging time. You are a GREAT and GODLY MAN Josh...God is very pleased with you and I pray He comforts your family. Much love and blessings.
ReplyDeleteJosh,
ReplyDeleteI have to say that if I ever found myself in the midst of this pain, I only hope I could be so courageous, so available, and so aware of all my emotions. Your's is an amazing testimony to so many, and God IS USING each piece of your grief, to reach others. It is a gut-wrenching sideline stance for all of us, as we grow more and more aware of your love for Ava, Lisa, and Noah. Hold each other tight tonite, and lean on the abundant love you all have for Jesus and for each other. We will sit, kneel, and wait with you, as long as it takes. Angela Hackett Jenkins and family
This excerpt was taken from the daily devotional "Jesus Calling":
ReplyDeleteRest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.
Peace be with you and yours.
O Josh,
ReplyDeleteWe are so heartbroken, we cannot seem to stop crying. We love each of you so very much. We know Ava's is in Heaven and she is smiling down on all of us, but we miss her so much. Please tell sweet Noah, Carson will be there Thursday and how much Carson loves Noah. We know words cannot heal your pain, but please know how much we love your family. Lots of love, Jack, Bobbie, Sydney and Carson
As many have said, I too have been and will continue to pray for you and your whole family. And too, you are an amazing voice to the multitude that suffer in this life - thank you for your letting us into your pain but more importantly, your faith, thru this horrible ordeal.
ReplyDeleteI am sure you realize Ava is in the greatest of hands with God, but that doesn't make it easy for you. God loves you, and loves Ava. He is holding her in his own, loving hands right this minute, and holding you in his embrace as well.
I pray for your peace. God will be close to you thru this, and I am saying prayers of gratitude to Him for your faith that will carry you thru this.
God bless you. God bless you.
Thank you for sharing your heart. And know that there are no words, just that prayers are continuing, and will continue for you and your entire family for the days, weeks, months, and years to come.
ReplyDeleteThrough tears I write tonight. My heart aches for you, Lisa, Noah and your whole family. I'm so deeply sorry Josh. At the same time I want to thank you for sharing so much with us. It is such a gift to hear a father's heart speak of the intense love for his daughter. And for his God. You have shown us what it means to trust Jesus with everything, even when nothing makes sense. I have so much respect for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteWith love and prayers,
Kristen and Greg Mikesell
Josh, Lisa and Noah, as much as I search for words tonight that might offer you the slightest moment of comfort and rest, I can't. So, I turn to His Word:
ReplyDelete"God, hear my cry; pay attention to my prayer. I call to You from the ends of the earth when my heart is without strength. Lead me to a rock that is high above me, for you have been a refuge for me, a strong tower in the face of the enemy. I will live in your tent forever and take shelter under Your wings," Psalm 61:1-4
Ava is resting tonight in the same tent and under the same wings with Jesus in heaven as you and your family will tonight here on earth.
I feel your heartache and despair now as I have over the past 10 weeks and cry and mourn with you and your family, yet rejoice in Ava's wholeness and healing in heaven. Please lean on those of us who love you-- that's one of the reasons that God selected us to share this journey with you and your family. We will continue at your side one moment at a time as you grieve. Praying tonight for peace and rest for your family as always...
Lisa,
ReplyDeleteI often wonder how Mary did it. She had Gods promise, and so do you. So I am praying that God will show you His glory. I am boldly praying He will fill the hole with Himself.
Words can in no way express my deep sorrow for what you are going through. I am just covering you with love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteOnly God can carry you through this Love you Grace.
Josh and Lisa -
ReplyDeleteYou all are so kind and generous to make Ava's memorial service viewable online for those of us who cannot attend in person. I will be at the airport waiting for a flight that morning - and watching the service on my phone, grieving with you.
Through waves and clouds and storms, He gently clears the way
Wait because in His time, so shall this night
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
Soon end in joy, soon end in joy
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
God will lift up your head
~ Jars of Clay
Aching and not understanding. You are loved from a family whose childhood brain tumor with our daughter is still very present in our thoughts( no name this time.)Just wanted you to know the pain is so heartfelt and numbing knowing what you are dealing with.
ReplyDeleteJosh,
ReplyDeleteI pray so fervently for healing for you and your family. One of the first things I did to grieve was try and write a song. As though I could capture the love I felt and hold it until I got to heaven.
As Beautiful As You
I wish I had words as beautiful as you
To describe the joy you gave me
You taught me what a family
Really was
And you always be my baby
I miss you
Even though you’re in my heart
And the tears on my cheeks baptize me
My hands they, they only want to hold you
But I fold them in prayer
And I know you’re up there
My angel that I long to see
Josh, I am not sure I have ever read such poignant, real writing in my life. You have such a gift at so gracefully, courageously expressing what you are going through... something that seems like it would be impossible to put into words. But I read your words, and I can literally feel everything that you are feeling. My heart aches for you, Lisa and Noah (and your families) and I don't even know you. I continue to pray for you all and think of you so many times throughout the day. You are making so many people see life differently and see God differently. We would all love to take your pain away, and so we continue to pray. I am not sure I have ever admired someone so much in my life, you make me want to be a better person, a better Christian, a better parent. Thank you for continuing to share your journey with us and for telling us what we should pray for. You have my prayers for as long as you need them. God bless you all.
ReplyDeleteYou do not know me but I have been praying for beautiful Ava an your entire family since coming across your blog. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. It is something that a parent should never have to go through. My prayers are forever with you and I know your sweet baby girl is one of the most beautiful angels in Heaven watching over all of you. God Bless all of you. Thank you for sharing her life and beautiful soul with all of us.
ReplyDeleteIt was so sad and shocking to hear that Jesus took Ava so quickly. . Thank you, Josh, for your poignant beautiful thoughts about sweet Ava. Your personal blog was a blessing to all who read it. When Ava's diagnosis was first announced, I was very concerned about the process of her battling this monster. I lost a very dear family member to this same insidious cancer. Eleven months into his diagnosis, I remember laying face down on the floor, crying and begging God to end his suffering, not understanding why God would allow someone who loved Him so much to have every sense and physical capability removed by this disease. It was God's mercy that He spared Ava from that same type of prolonged suffering. It would have been such a tremendous gift to have had more time with your precious girl, but time is the enemy with GBM. It robs its victims of everything physically. She was so beautiful and spunky, it is great that those memories will be the ones you hold close and always treasure in your hearts. Praise God that He is faithful and will see us all home, at just the right time. Praying blessings over your family in the coming days, weeks, and months.
ReplyDeleteWords are completely inadequate. Grieving a child is the purest love I have ever felt, and the greatest pain. I wanted neither to stop. God is very close to the broken hearted. He is with you and your family now. Praying for you and yours.
ReplyDeleteGene Ort
I can't even begin to fathom the depth of pain when it comes to losing a child. But I do know that joy comes in the morning and he is making something so beautiful in the midst of your suffering and grief. Continuing to pray for you, Lisa, and Noah!!
ReplyDeleteStill. As in praying. I tremble thinking of this little girl in a state of worship with the saints. What a big thing she's doing.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you this morning and always.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me. My family knows you. Our hearts hurt and we cry for you and for all of us. Your blog, during this passage has changed, matured and grown more people than you'll ever know.
ReplyDeletePuzzled and numb, but to God be the glory. Amen
Diane
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't think of anything worse than losing a child. Although I don't know your family personally, Ava has been on my mind all week. She truly has touched a lot of hearts all over the world. May peace be with you all.
ReplyDeleteLove, love and more love to you and your family Josh. I hope God touches you guys with his gentle hand.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing your grief, from a random person. when I heard then news in service, tears welled up in my eyes as I sung whatever hymn. I will keep you in my prayers and your faith is amazingly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI have had a lot of grief and inappropriate mourning in my life, filling holes up with distractions. may it be a very small comfort that your grief can be a light to others who grieve. thank you. - A
Dear The Hunter Family,
ReplyDeleteI am so deeply sorry for your loss. I have been following your story about your dear sweet Ava. My husband and I attended Summit Church for 2 years when we were living in Orlando, and for me personally your story hits very, very close to home. When I was 2 years old, my oldest sister was diagnosed with GBM. After several years of fighting it, with the help of many talented doctors, surgeries, an amazing church family, support and prayers the tumor in my sisters brain stopped growing. She is now 25 years old and has been in remission for many years. Even though we do not know each other, I cannot help but feel so much sorrow for your family. Please let me know if my family can do anything for yours. If you need support, prayers, someone to talk to who knows exactly what you are going through, myself, my parents, and the rest of my family are here for you all. We will continue to pray for you and your family. I'm so sorry for your loss. With much love, Ashli Van Pelt (vanpelt.ashli@gmail.com)
I attend Summit and have been following your story since it was first announced that Ava was sick. I would pray at night for your family, but mainly I would picture your little girl--in a hospital room, and I would tell her "don't be afraid." I believed with all my heart that she would be well and in time her cancer would leave. I absolutely did not want your family to lose your precious little girl. I did not want you and your wife to ever feel the pain of not having her. When my mother called to tell me the news--that she had passed--the first thing I responded with is, "No, she did not." Because, in my heart I could not fathom how a family is supposed to deal with a grief so big. I was angry because I knew that there was going to be an ache so strong...so deliberate...so intense. I asked God "why?" I understand on the Christian responses that one is supposed to give in a situation like this...but, I can't give them. I can't bring myself to say them. It feels too big. This is so real. This is heartstopping grief. But, here is what I do pray, "God please help them walk a few steps when they can't find the strength to even move. Help them pour their water when grief has made even a simple task impossible. Help them get dressed, help them live in their home." God give them the strength and the courage to live through five more minutes; 5 more hours, 5 more years...." May God give you His strength to exist in every minute...." You and your family are so very brave.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite memories of Ava occurred when you all were at our house while Amber and Ryan were down in February. She guided me (dragged perhaps) into my room and began dressing me like a doll. She was going through my shoe collection and pulled out some ivory ballet flats. She looked at me and said, "these are pretty" so I proceeded to tell her that those were my wedding shoes. Her mouth fell open and she looked as if I had just said a potty word! She looked at me and said, "NO! You're supposed to wear high heels at your wedding!! These aren't your wedding shoes!" and threw them back in the closet. Unfortunately the wedding had already happened and this wasn't a debatable fact. But Ava didn't care. She didn't want me wearing those shoes at my wedding. :)
ReplyDeleteLove you guys so much!
Tracy Beeson
Just wanted you to know we were thinking of you all. Hope your head feels better soon.
ReplyDeleteIn His love forever.
This is my first response though my wife and I have been following your blog from the beginning. We have been attending your Dad's church for about 5 years. We attended Ava's memorial service and were blown away by Isaac's words and the rawness and honesty of the words from Joel, Lisa and Noel.
ReplyDeleteEarlier you asked for ways that Ava's ordeal has impressed us. It finally hit me, even though I have been working on this for a while. I am a landscaper and tree farmer by trade and honestly, my favorite thing to "do" is to dig a hole and plant a tree. I have planted what I call "Trinity Trees" at three churches (including Northland) and at our tree farm. Another one of my favorite activities is to camp out at our farm, cooking all meals on the open fire, watching sunsets, and waiting for the deer to visit our farm (sorry, not for hunting). All that to say Ava has inspired me to start a non profit offering "Memory Trees" for families who have lost a loved one. We have potted up almost 100 beginner Live oak trees and one already has Ava's name on it. At the appropriate time I would like to offer this to the Hunter family to plant where they would like. Perhaps in a year this Tree will realize where it needs to set its roots and in what little girl's memory it needs to spread its branches and provide shade.
Take care and God bless,
Rick Geer
Another one of those - you don't know me - but my daughter is in class with Noah and we attend Northland. We have been on this praying for all of you from the beginning. Your family has been so amazing to share this journey with so many who have gained so much.
ReplyDeleteI think and talk about God more now. My kids tell me I am funnier. Both of my girls know they are a gift from God and they are so special to me! The gift from the Hunter family is a more focused Worsham family, filed with laughs and love.
Thank you SO much! Ava's life will continue to touch many.
Andrea Worsham