Today was pretty dang good. We decided to hang back and worship online with Northland for one more week instead of make the trek to Summit for our normal worship service. It seemed like it may be too much to handle coming right off of the service this week and all.
So, we did what everyone does who doesn't go to church on Sunday morning. We went out for brunch. It was just Lisa, Noah and me. It was really strange not having Ava there, but we talked about her a lot and really enjoyed the time together this morning. Somewhere in the last two days I went from "supremely sad" to "just miss her, really bad". The difference in those two is the ability to think about her with a smile on my face instead of tears in my eyes.
We had a fairly normal day. I mowed the yard with Noah (perfectly normal), shot my bow in prep for deer season (perfectly awesome), and hugged on Lisa (perfectly perfect).
About that bow shooting...
I can't wait to get in a treestand. I still talk with Ava everyday and don't think that will ever stop. I hear her voice all the time. It's the first season I can trust her not to fidget...so I'm letting her go with me. Deer season is upon us. This is the point in the year where all of my PETA friends can quit reading for about 3 months...I'm gonna talk a lot about hunting and God. Ava loves both.
This blog is about to get real, down home, American.
LOVE it! I think you epitomize REAL, DOWN HOME, AMERICAN!!! SO GLAD it was a pretty good day!
ReplyDelete...Nothing wrong with "real", Josh...we wouldn't want you to be anything but real, with us...
ReplyDelete...And hey, in my book, there's nothing wrong with hunting, either!...Having grown up on the mission field, I know a thing or two about that :)...For many years, hunting was almost an everyday part of my life!...Be it rifle, bow, or, on occasion, a hand-made sling shot, we pretty much depended on hunting if we planned on doin' any eatin' that day! :)
...I think it is pretty awesome that you can speak so honestly regarding your feelings for Ava...and about the other things that bring you comfort and pleasure...A good thing, indeed...
...I continue praying for you and the family...May God shower you with blessings in abundance!
That's awesome! Down home is so good.
ReplyDeleteI'm a big animal person so I can't imagine shooting a deer, with a bow or a gun. I know the population needs to be controlled and so on and so forth.
Glad to hear brunch was good. Super glad to hear you hugged on Lisa. You're a wonderful, wonderful family.
I was just praying for the Hunter clan and wanted to check your blog.
Til next time-
Jody
I'm continuing to remember you all in my prayers--asking for days that go well for you HERE while Ava is watching over you from THERE.
ReplyDeleteI am glad you didn't miss you dad today..what a great message and what a blast he was talking about the "crazies' We just continue to learn from all of your family!
ReplyDeleteSO good to hear you are doing well, and it was awesome to hear your dad back in the saddle delivering a phenomenal sermon. What a great message - i could picture both you and your dad, like David, getting up after the death of his son, dusting yourself off, accepting God's will, praising him in spite of your pain and getting back to doing what God has for you this side of heaven. prayers and props to you!
ReplyDeleteMy husband can't wait to get back in a treestand too - he even has a camouflage hunter's bible just for those occasions.
Talked with Isaac today. We are really praying for you. We really are...:)
ReplyDeletethis blog made me smile for you today :)))
ReplyDeletepraise God for the good days!
You all definitely had a great Sunday together, and we are so happy to hear that your deer season is off to a perfect start. Love that you are hugging on Lisa!! Love your tenacity to live life in REAL, RAW, DOWNHOME AMERICAN style! You are loved and prayed for everyday. We are confident Ava has a huge grin on her face, so proud of Dad and his pursuit of the biggest deer he can find this year :) Enjoy your conversations with Ava each day, and the lovely intimacy with Noah and Lisa. We are so proud of you all!! Angela Hackett Jenkins and family
ReplyDeleteLisa and you are going to find Ava with you all the time. God makes a way for us in the wilderness.
ReplyDeleteHappy Hunting and Happy whatever gives you Joy and peace Love you Grace.
Thank you so much for posting. I loved hearing your day was a little easier. Still think about you all day. Praying for another great day tomorrow:)))))
ReplyDeleteJosh, thank you so much for sharing. I've come to know you and your family and I love that you keep writing. You guys are still heavy on my heart and will be for a while, I hope. I love your honesty and I am honored that you share this journey with me, okay, so I know it's not me personally, but for just letting us all in. I know this blog is for you, but your words have changed me. Ava has changed me. Seeing, reading and praying for all of you has impacted me more than one would think a stranger could. I know I am one of thousands that feel this way but I just wanted to express my appreciation for your transparency. We will never comprehend the God we serve and for the life of me, losing Ava will never seem right. But I have come to understand that it doesn't really matter that I don't get it, He gets it and He gets me, not getting it. My faith had mulitplied and my gratitude has deepened for the little things. I no longer get annoyed with the mundane things of being a mommy to my little ones. I soak it all in with the thought of Ava and your family lingering in the back of my mind. And you should know that as soon as she or you or Lisa or Noah enters my mind, I say prayers for you to our Father for comfort and peace. I hate that you have had to live through this experience, I hate it. But it has definately taught me what truly matters. I have known this truth for a while but now it is engrained into my heart; that knowing Christ and loving God with all my heart soul mind and strength is really the only thing worth living for. Everything else is just details. I pray this remains fresh in my heart just as I pray the pain of losing her loses its grip on you. Sorry for the novel, that is your job. I just wanted to share and hope that it is recieved well.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, where we live in NC we have hunting area across the street from our neighborhood. We hear gunfire all the time this time of year.
We've never met but once upon a time I knew your brother, Isaac. What a great job he did, by the way. Thanks Josh, for sharing, please don't stop...
Hope you have a great night and a better tomorrow!
In Christ,
Jenny (DeLoach) Schiralli
I go to the school yard on evenings and weekends (that is in Lisa's mom's neighborhood) and shoot a bow with my amazing boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteIt's one of our favorite things to do. I'm right there with ya!
-abby
Your dad's sermon today was one of my all-time favorites. What a gift he is to all of us. You are so blessed with your parents but I know you know that :)
ReplyDeleteYou have such a gift with your writing. I loved the line about trusting Ava not to fidget. I'm sure she'll help Daddy this year!
Always praying...always believing...
I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED your dad's sermon today. I hope you did too! I can't wait to hear about your deer hunting and look forward to hearing about Noah - as much as a young boy can stand to let you share :-) {hugs for you all}
ReplyDeleteHappy to hear you had a good day. Looking forward to seeing you guys around summit. We miss worshiping with you guys!
ReplyDeleteSo happy to hear that it was a pretty good day for you and your family. I Pray that there will be many more on the way!
ReplyDeleteThankful that you had a better day. You were in my prayers early this morning. I pray for even better days ahead.
ReplyDeleteLove this post - so glad that guys had a pretty good day and enjoyed some family time. We love you and continue to pray for your family. Although we have never met, I feel like we have known your family forever because of your openess. Think of you all many times throughout the day :)
ReplyDeleteJust thought you should know...you, Lisa, Noah and our beloved Ava, have led my family and I to worship at Northland. The search for a new church home has been a long time coming, and hearing your father's words has solidified why God placed your family in my life. It's where we are supposed to be. So thank you for that...
ReplyDeleteKnowing you had such a good, slightly normal day will help me to sleep well tonight. God bless you all!
I'm a North Dakota girl who loves venison! Bring on the hunting talk! Still thinking of you, praying for you, and sending our love your way. Again, thanks for sharing so openly and being real!
ReplyDelete"You loved her well" is a quote from your brother from Ava's service. I absolutely hope someone would say the same for me about my love for my children. What better compliment could there be. I replay that in my head over and over every day as a reminder to value my children and show them how much they are loved. God bless you and your amazing family. Thanks again for sharing your daily blog with us. You will never know the number of families whose lives will be forever changed by your daughters life.
ReplyDeleteYou made me smile today. After weeks of crying, a smile is good. I'm so pleased that you and your family are smiling too and that Ava lives on. :)
ReplyDeleteWe now have 12 deer on the island, 5 of them bucks. There is growing concern that the herd needs to be culled....maybe even all of them. As they have jumped your Aunt & Uncle's fence and gotten into the OYC to munch on my shrubs and perennials, I am all for you coming to Ohio for a visit and removing them! We even had a young one get his hind quarters hung up on the pool gate! We removed him and he lived to jump the 8' fence and head for the woods across the street.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that your day was good. We continue to keep you all in our prayers, knowing that God will grant you peace.
Josh- I'm happy that God blessed all of you with a better day. It made me smile, and I thanked Jesus. Both of my bosses are avid hunters, so I understand the anticipation.It will be special having Ava with you in that treestand. I was thinking of God's providence and grace about hunting season being at this time. I hope that doesn't sound disrespectful, but it's just another example of how good God is. God bless you and keep you.
ReplyDeleteWe thank God for the blessings that lie in both the good days and the bad! You are all still in my prayers, where you'll remain for quite some time, and I'm thrilled to hear a bit of levity and happiness in your words. As for me, my levity comes from hearing a Hunter talking about hunting, and somehow this makes me smile! :)
ReplyDeleteMy father is a game hunter and I grew up next to him in the woods. wouldn't trade it for anything and I am sure Ava wouldn't trade her time with you for anything either. I smiled and cried reading your entry tonight.
ReplyDeleteif this was facebook, id like this post.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful for Gods everlasting faithfulness to you guys.
Let the bow hunting begin!
I just learned of Ava's journey today and it brings tears to my eyes. I lost my dear mom to GBM on June 25th. My heart aches as I know the journey that my family traveled as my mom fought her GBM for 13 months and it doesn't compare to your journey of your beautiful daughter. I can only relate to the difficult diagnosis and our faith in God too helped us through. Our days continue to be very difficult as she is so greatly missed; but my faith in God has grown so much this last year- a definite positive in such a dark time of my life. I will pray for you and your family as you "water your grass" through the days, months and years ahead. God bless,
ReplyDeleteAmy
Bless you, bless you, bless you!!!!!! One can surely see where Ava got her "warriorizm"!!!
ReplyDeletedude, I could use some American right about now
ReplyDeleteDustin
Wow~ I sure needed that blog message....thanks for continuing to share REAL stuff....I continue to be blessed by your journey with HIM!!!
ReplyDeletemorning josh,
ReplyDeleteok, this might be too long for a blog, but here goes. i have been a northlander for 20 years. sometimes i am embarrassed to tell people that as there gonna say--that girl should be way further in her spiritual walk. but my church and your family has been a huge blessing in my life. josh, i followed your blog daily and grieved, prayed, and laughed when ava laughed. but there was a little bit of maybe selfishness in the follow--or not. myself and my family have been hard hit this year with sorrows and i wanted to watch a Hunter walk this walk and i knew God had something to teach me.. and oh he so did. he just kept pouring out gold for me through you, little ava, your family. just two things that landed for me were the fruit of a life lived in Christ and learning from Issacs message that we must first be blessed before we mourn. it fully landed later that day. your papa brought it all home this sunday. i am still in prayer for you and your family and glad it is your hunting season.. i have a husband so i get it. love you guys so for ministering to us in a way you might never know and so wish I had met your little girl... Valerie
WOW!!!!Josh, I read your blog everyday and sometimes I read it to my family! Well this morning I read it to my family as we are hunters too! My son is a bow hunter and he has the same excitetment you have grearing up for the season. He and my husband enjoyed what they heard.It was such a Pleasure to see God is answering our prayers for your family..I feel very lighthearted for your family today intstead of heavy. Thank you agian so much for ministering to all of us I only pray for even better days ahead! Cindy Miller
ReplyDeleteI can tell it's almost hunting season by how many deer I'm seeing on my drive to work in rural TN and North Georgia...saw a huge buck a few days ago that would've seriously damaged my front bumper. He'll make someone very happy I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteWow everyone's getting really excited huh :D
ReplyDeleteGlad you and your family are feeling better:)
the elk are bugling in Colorado...and we are sending cyber hugs to you all along with the prayers..........:)+
ReplyDeleteDear Josh, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your ability and willingness to "get real" and share some of your heart here on this blog. Without your blog, I would not have had the blessing of "knowing" Ava.
ReplyDeleteAs a Northland worshiper,I found out about Ava's illness a few months ago while overhearing a few ladies in the bookstore discuss "Ava bracelets" that her grandma was making. I was curious who Ava was and why her grandma was making bracelets. Later that week, while on the Northland website I discovered who Ava was and why her grandma was making bracelets. I began reading your blog and prayed frequently for Ava, you and your entire family.
You asked for people to write about how Ava touched their lives. I would like to share with you how Ava (and you and your family) have impacted mine. Though I never had the opportunity to meet Ava personally, I felt connected to her through your blog. I also felt connected by association. My husband coached one of you guys at Lyman in football. I began attending Northland about 8 years ago with my son. My husband, who was previously not interested in attending church decided to come with us. He confessed that the only reason he agreed to attend was because he realized that your dad was the father of one of the boys he coached in football years ago. He really liked Pastor Joel and the kid he coached, so he figured the church couldn't be "that bad", lol.
So, through reading your blog, I fell in love with Ava. Your words never failed to touch me. I've never seen such intense love between a father and daughter and it brought back memories of my own father who died when I was a child. I followed Ava's progress/setbacks and prayed for a cure. I read of the pain that she endured and felt humbled by this little girl who was handling her illness with the grace and trust that I myself did not have. I've been struggling with health issues for several years. This past year, my health began to decline significantly. As a result, I became unable to work - causing financial devastation, I was frequently hospitalized, was unable to leave the house for several months and became very isolated and depressed as a result. I struggled to get out of bed each morning due to pain and depression. And then there was Ava.
Ava changed everything for me. Let me correct that. GOD changed everything for me, and the vehicle he used for change was your daughter, Ava. I saw videos of Ava smiling after surgery. I saw videos of Ava learning to walk again - with joy on her face. I saw videos of Ava singing, telling jokes and being silly - full of pure joy. Despite her pain and struggles, Ava found joy. Because of Ava showing me the way - I found joy.
I really want you and Lisa to know how much Ava meant to me. Despite not ever meeting her, her life affected mine profoundly and she is someone I will never forget. I am unable to adequately express how truly sorry I am that you, Lisa, Noah and your entire family have suffered the loss of such a precious child. I am praying that God provides you all with the peace and comfort that I know only He can provide - until you are reunited with her again. With love, Julie Henry
Oh, I just loved this post!!!!! I watched Ava’s memorial online last night (first chance I had), and I was alone in my living room and the lights were out, and I found myself sobbing. It truly was the most beautiful tribute to the most amazing little (but HUGE) life. I have never seen anything more touching in all my life! Thank you for sharing her with us, and looking forward to y’all continuing to share glimpses of Ava with us! We love you!
ReplyDelete"Fidget" is such a great word! I laughed out loud when I read that...your sense of humor & gift of writing is a perfect combo! The trials in my life at the moment don't begin to compare what your family has been/is going through - but YOU are helping ME in a very backwards way, so I just wanted to say THANK YOU! HUGS to y'all from all of us...
ReplyDeleteSmiles,
Michelle
Thanks for writing your blog Josh.
ReplyDeleteI miss Ava in Base Camp.
But i know she is with us in sprite dancing and eating goldfish.
Im praying that you and your beautiful family have many more good days. Many prayers are coming your way!
Hope you can fill the freezer, enjoy some great family dinners (enjoying delicious venison) creating new joy, and sharing precious memories.
ReplyDeleteYour family remains in my prayers as everyone's life seems to be back to normal and your normal has been rocked.
I still think about Ava everyday.
Josh we are so happy that you all had a good day! Still praying for you and your family. We will also pray that you get a nice deer. :) Our family is all geared up for bow season also! :) Praying for a nice week for the whole Hunter family.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful that you all had a good day. I still pray for you guys.
ReplyDeleteJosh, I have been following your blog for awhile now. I don't know you and Lisa but my connection with your family is through your parents. They came to visit my mom and I through my dad's sickness and when it was time, your dad did my dad's funeral. Also, my mom knew you and Lisa while she worked at northland years back. Anyway, after following your journey for the past months, I just wanted to tell you that your strength and faith is very amazing and inspirational! The lives that have drawn closer to God after reading your blog posts, have to be endless. It is amazing how God uses even pain in our lives to draw us closer to Him. I never understood that until I lost my dad at a very young age. I will continue to pray for your family and for each step ahead. Sounds like you all have unbelievable support around you. I hope you all have many days ahead like you did on sunday! Praying for you all and thinking of Ava. She is a beautiful little girl!
ReplyDelete