I have no idea why one year matters. I don't know why this day is more significant than any of the last few months worth of days. But, it is.
About a week ago my body and mind began to feel the weight of this date. I slept weird, had vivid dreams, had emotions that I haven't in months, had less patience than normal, thought of Ava more during the day than I have in a while, and remembered things I wanted to forget.
This day will likely always carry significance in our lives. I want it to and don't want it to at the same time. It's just another day...but it isn't. This day exactly one year ago our sweet girl joined Jesus in heaven and we were left with a void that can't be filled. If that sounds heavy, it's because it is. It's a burden that our family will carry forever. Every person who loves us and Ava carries it with us. In a weird way it makes the burden a little lighter.
God continues to bless us through the pain. Here are my highlights from the last 365 days:
1. Opened Hunter Vision and watched it grow from start-up to a solid company with an incredible team. We started with 4 and now have over 50 team members involved on a weekly basis to keep the clinic running to perfection as we love on people who need vision correction as Christ would love on them.
2. I celebrated 15 married years with the love of my life.
3. Our family met with the President of the United States and he hugged Lisa and I and let us know that He and Michele have been praying for us.
4. We officially became parents of a teenager.
5. Our family drew closer as we walked through the pain of our loss and reminded each other daily of Ava's gain.
God is good. I know it. I refuse to believe otherwise. My heart needs to believe it and my mind knows it to be the only thing that even makes sense.
We are grateful to all of you who have cared for us and loved on us when we had nothing to give back. There are many of you who have been the body of Christ for us. Some of you don't even know that is what you have been.
The greatest gift you all could give us and Ava is to be with us forever, far beyond this life. Do me a favor. Find out if Jesus is who He said He was. It will change your life when you come to the conclusion that He is. It certainly won't make it easier, but it will make it worth it.
Ava's life still marks this world a year after she left it. God blesses in times of great joy and in great pain. We do our best to follow Him. The mark of a lasting blessing and a life worth living is wrapped up in a man who lived 2000 years ago by a girl who did not live 2000 days. Both changed my life forever. One because of how he loves me and one because of how I love her.
365 days. It matters. Let the next 365 be the ones that bring you to the reason we are all here.
Love to all of you. Thanks for loving us.
I am grateful and a better person because of my cherished friendship with your family. Thank you and lots of love to you all :o) Love Jolie
ReplyDeleteAny burden is lighter when others help carry it. You and Lisa have been amazing during this past year and an inspiration to this tired ole hunter...the other kind of hunter, not the family hunter.
ReplyDeleteJosh, thank you for sharing and for being such an inspiration to us. Ava is still a part of our lives and we are so blessed by her little life. love to you & your today!
ReplyDeleteThanks once again, Josh, for putting it out there for us to think about. I know thousands and thousands of prayers are being given on behalf of the Hunter family today. Ava's life and your love for her continue to give inspiration and beauty to all of us who know and love you guys..
ReplyDeleteBlessings to your precious family today. You are all so loved. The prayers won't ever stop. We will never forget sweet Ava.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being an inspiration to me through your difficult time. You make me want to be a better Christian.
ReplyDeleteGod bless all of you.
Josh, the impact of sweet Ava's life on so many continues, even 365 days beyond her passing and the work that Jesus is doing through those taught by her amazes me daily. Quite often people will stop me when I have my Ava t shirt on from the brain cancer run and tell me they prayed for either Ava and/or your family.
ReplyDeleteHelping others to pray more and think beyond themselves to the glory of God is only a part of the legacy your daughter has left us here on Earth.
Love, hugs and prayers to you all.
A heart full of love and prayers still coming your way!! Rhonda
ReplyDeleteJosh- Jeremy reminded all of us at the Oviedo site that it is one year since Ava went to be with Jesus. I hope you could feel all of the prayers surrounding all of you. That was my prayer. That God's presence would be so felt by you and your family,and that the Holy Spirit would comfort and hold you....One beautiful precious little girl and the family who loved her changed the lives of so many. Her courage and tenacity are bringing tears to my eyes right now. How God enabled you to share your painful journey was a gift to us to remind us all to appreciate the life He's given us through His Son. And to cherish our families beyond measure because life is oh so fragile....Thanks for sharing the blessings of the past year with us. "May the Lord continually bless you with heaven's blessings as well as human joys." Ps.128:5....And when I get to heaven, I'll hand Ava a purple flower. She may not recognize me, yet she will and I think her face will light up with a smile. May God bless you and keep you.
ReplyDeleteMy heart hurt for your family this morning. Please just know how these last 365 days has brought so many to ask that Christ be their personal Saviour! What an inspiration your daughter and your family was to so so many!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless All of you in the next 365 days!
thx for this post josh! PRAYING PRAYING PRAYING for you & your sweet fam today! canNOT begin to imagine the pain.... AVA's life has changed so many hearts, including mine. Seeking Christ and watching Him work in you & lisa through the hurt is incredible. thank you for your vulnerable self! --jen j
ReplyDeleteHi Josh and Lisa,
ReplyDeleteWhat I beautiful post and inspiring testimony. I’m encouraged and touched to tears. I'm keeping you and your family in added prayer in remembering this is the weekend of the anniversary of Ava's passing. I tried to post to Lisa’s blog, but it didn’t work go through. Please make sure Lisa gets this message too.
May God continue
* touching you with his presence in an
extra special way.
* draw you closer to Him and each other.
* give you added strength and increased
sense of purpose in the days to come.
You don't know me, but your good friend Heidi Jackson does. We worked together when she was at Man in the Mirror.
I am the one who gave you the sympathy card at Ava's memorial that offered therapeutic massage for you or one of your family members. Massage is known to help heal emotional pain as well as physical.
The offered still stands. My office is about 5 minutes from Northland in Casselberry's Wilshire Plaza.
Fondly,
Carole
http://restoredbytouch.com/
Massage for Health’s sake – reaching deep tissue with gentle touch for optimal results
cell: 407-657-3755
Oh Josh, no words can express how heavy my heart feels for you and for your whole family. I am crying with you and constantly praying for all of you. Your Beautiful Ava and your beautiful, outpouring heart in words have forever impacted innumerable lives. Every day I think of your precious daughter. I can't wait to meet her one day! My grandma/best friend passed away July of last year and the poem below, which my mom found, deeply touched my heart. As I read it, I also think of your family & Ava:
ReplyDelete"A million times we needed you,
A million times we cried.
If love could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
No one can ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
Part of us went with you,
The day God took you home.
God saw you were getting tired,
And a cure was not to be
So He put His arms around you,
And whispered "Come on home to Me."
With tearful eyes we watched you
And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
And working hands are now at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best."
God knows your pain intimately and cares for you immeasurably. I love you and your precious family and won't ever stop praying for all of you.
With all my love always,
Dawn DiBari
Josh....you are simply amazing and every time I read your blog, im speechless. I have been praying so hard this past week for you, Lisa and Noah,knowing that the one year mark is the hardest. Your sweet Ava has made a difference in this world and has forever changed me in a BIG way. I cant thank you enough for allowing us to be on this journey with you all and sharing the most precious thing in your life. You have also demonstrated what it means to truly live your life for Christ. This is a gift that you have that you have shown through the hardest time in your life, to the little things you do and say on a daily basis. Thank you for being that example to all of us!!!!!!!! These last 365 days i have prayed daily for you all, and i will continue to on a daily basis.
ReplyDeleteKnow you are LOVED and thank you so much for sharing Ava with us!!!!
Marylee
Josh,
ReplyDeleteThank you once again for your amazing inspiration. Ava continues to touch my life and although I never met her, she has made me a better person. I love deeper, I am more tolerant of challenges and pain knowing how tough she was, and your family has shown me how amazing true trust in our Lord Jesus Christ works in our lives. I think of Ava and your family often, and am so grateful to continue to be blessed by your family. I am praying for you on this day and will continue to pray for all of you. God Bless You!
Praying for your entire family every day.
ReplyDeleteI think of sweet Ava often and continue to pray for you and your family. May God wrap you all in His arms and comfort you. Please know that your sweet Ava has touched my life and strengthened my reliance on God and a deeper appreciation for every moment I have with my family.
ReplyDeleteI lost my mom, my best friend, to cancer a week ago. What a sting that is. Your blogs and Lisa and Noah's strength have been an encourgement to me. Thank you for continuing to bless me with your blogs. May God continue to mend all of out broken hearts.
ReplyDeleteYour faith continues to be an inspiration. I wish you were able to know how many people came to know Christ (or will come to know Him) as a result of Ava's life on this side of Heaven! I can't think of anything that would make you prouder as a parent :)
ReplyDeleteI ran the first race of the Track Shack Running Series last month and was so excited to see Hunter Vision out there (and my kids were grateful for the ice pops!). What a great idea! So happy to see Hunter Vision going strong!
Always praying for your family and keeping you close in thought!
Well done Josh. You have created the most good I can imagine from this difficult journey - thank you for including us. I love you buddy.
ReplyDeleteI am praying for you guys!!! and are thinking of you!
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Faith
Josh, Lisa & Noah-
ReplyDeleteI haven't been on your blog for probably 365 days. I have checked in to see how you're holding up and have thought of you often. I remembered that Ava's journey to heaven began 1 year ago and want to let you know that my prayers are still with you and I think of you often. Continue to hold on to The Lord and know that you are 365 days closer to seeing her again some day. Live life to the fullest here on earth until that day. You are a great
testiment to what it means to love & trust The Lord in the midst of tragedy.
Jody
Josh, you and your family have been in my prayers during this time that has been a reminder of your life last year. Your honesty and faithfulness are encouraging to all who are going through tough times.
ReplyDeleteDear Josh, Lisa, Noah and entire Hunter family,
ReplyDeleteSweet little Ava has been on my mind quite often lately, as I knew the one year date was approaching. Please know my prayers and love are with all of you. Your family has shown incredible strength and faith during the last year. It has inspired me and so many others. May the year ahead bring all of you peace as only God can give. May God continue to bless you always.
With love from Susie ( A Northlander)
God works in mysterious ways. I have followed your family's journey and still cry every time I hear the song that was played at Ava's memorial service. It has been a long time since I have visited your blog but something drew me here today. I did not know that the one year anniversary had just passed. Your family is simply amazing....and reminds each of us that through Him we can find light in the darkest of days. I never had the pleasure of meeting your sweet Ava, but I know that she will always hold a special place in my heart. Sending much love and many prayers your way!
ReplyDeleteI thought of your whole fam on the 4th as we celebrated a one year anniversary of my best friends marriage.
ReplyDeleteSo thankful that we serve a God who gives grace and loves us unconditionally.
So thankful we serve a God who gives and takes away, and to whom all the glory is given.
Praying for your family.
Thank you, Josh. Our prayers were much and hearts were heavy this past summer and more so this past weekend for you and your family. We wore purple on purpose this last Sunday, in memory of sweet Ava and all those that have labored a life with cancer. We also struggled to find the right words that day to say here. But, I think D.L. Moody said it once ..."take courage, we walk in the wilderness today, and in the promise land tomorrow." The path you have walked and how you traveled it, proves He is who He said He was. It could be no other way. Your steps seem bigger now...size, strength and closer to tomorrow. Much love and peace still to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteDearest Josh, Lisa, Noah, and all Hunter Family
ReplyDeleteHow to say? than others already had said...
My soul and Luky's soul is with you , now and forever."Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him"Psalm 126.I love also Psalm 127:3-5
This precious arrow was and is " the most assertive little instrument of God's love in a such a mysterious way.
We are Family, and we are in prayers with you!
Dr. Laura and Luky Capizzano
Hi Josh and Lisa. I don't know why but your baby girl has been weighing heavily on my heart lately. I thought of her as I dropped off my 5 year old on his first day of kindergarten. I thought of her as I listened to a song called " forever young". I think of her every time I get mad at any of my 3 babies. I thought of her as I planned my little girls birthday tea party. In my mind, I think to myself, almost everyday, " if they had known that the last birthday party they planned for Ava would be her last, would they have changed anything about it?". I try to just live life for now, to just breathe my babies in, to look at that baseball hit, to not miss the journey of everyday childhood while planning for their future. I want to take my son on a safari to Africa, not because we can afford to, but because I don't want to say "someday" and that day never come. Your baby girl is so precious to our family, though I never met her. I remember your father letting his congregation know about the diagnosis, we prayed for her as a family, I was there when you shared with us the celebration of her earthly life. She is truly a beacon of hope for us, a reminder to cherish your family, in a heartbeat it could all be gone. She will be like that song, forever young. Just wanted you to know.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a spectacular birthday in heaven tomorrow sweet Ava. I imagine it is a jubilee of celebration...and sharing it with Jesus. We are thinking and still praying for you Josh, family, and the whole Hunter tribe. Much love, peace, rest & happiness to you all.
ReplyDelete